Greetings!

Many of you who have taken our workshops, on-site consultations and/or our Parent Strategies Sessions will know that the focus is always on the CHILD PERSPECTIVE.

With that in mind…

The BEST Present we can give, especially to a child, during the Christmas and Holiday Season is our PRESENCE: our undivided, focused attention.

A close encounter of the “human kind” says: “You are valued. You matter to me. It is very important to me to be with you.”

Yet with all our good intentions, December becomes the month of madness instead of the Season of Gladness.

How can we give the present that keeps on giving … look at your schedule, your time, your commitments and see where you can refocus your attention on to what matters…

Every pressure removed from our schedule gives us more NOW time for the children…

3 Time Enhancers

1. Simplified decorating — less is always more…
2. Realistic Expectations — do I really need to by another gift or buy for that person?
3. Going out less and staying in more. Do we have to go to all the parties we are invited to?

By giving PRIORITY to be with our children and families will speak louder than PRESENTS!

4 Close Encounters…

1. Dig out some old pictures of when you were little and let the stories begin… Children love to hear what it was like when you were little: all the things you did; what were your favourite things to do; and what “Grandma or Grandpa” used to do and be like…
2. Enjoy a book – as a family and individually with your child. Start a new tradition by reading an old favourite snuggled up on the couch with some hot chocolate…
3. Bake a favourite recipe together and don’t worry what they look like or taste like! Enjoy the “doing together” part. And… don’t forget to let them lick the spoon & bowl!
4. Get bundled up just after dark and go for a walk or car ride to enjoy the lights in the neighbourhood = FREE ENTERTAINMENT

Wishing you all the PEACE + JOY of the Season!

Blessings,

Mary

Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H, RECE,
Director, Childlife…Solutions 4Life with Kids!

“Teach a child how to live, he will remember it all his life” Proverb 22v6

In our first article on Cultivating Self Esteem, we emphasized our need, as parents and teachers, to create an environment that children’s self esteem can grow in a positive way through our interactions with them.

In general, a high self esteem is to feel confidently capable for life and a low self esteem is not feeling ready for life.

As cultivators of children’s well-being, we can help by giving them opportunities to try, fail, and succeed. These are the building blocks to feeling capable and ready to take on life and new challenges.

Here are 4 more Essentials to help Cultivate Self Esteem:

1. Sow independence and success: Encourage children to try new and different things. Supply them with opportunities where they can accomplish things on their own such as putting toys in marked bins or on low shelves. Give them choices they can make. “Do you want to paint or play with playdough?” “Do you want to tidy up now or in 5 minutes?”
2. Measure and make sure you have reasonable expectations of children at the different ages and stages of development. Recommended is the series of books by Louise Bates Ames, Your One Year Old up to Your 8-14 Year Old.
3. Prepare children by letting them know what’s happening throughout the day. Let them know ahead of time when there is going to be a change in activity or routine. “After lunch we are going to visit Aunt Mavis.” “In five more minutes, when the lights flick, it will be time to tidy.”
4. Pick your words carefully. Be descriptive when acknowledging a child’s accomplishments or behaviour. When a child shows you her picture or finished work, instead of saying “Good work”, or “That’s a great picture”, invest in them a sense of accomplishment by describing specifically what you see. “I see you used a lot of red in this picture. You put it on the top and at the bottom.” This lets a child know you are looking at their picture or accomplishment in depth; that you are truly valuing what they have done which gives them an intrinsic feeling of self worth.

When we remember that a genuine, positive self-image is a life-long developmental process, we will be more inclined to spend time cultivating children’s likes, interests and strengths and offering opportunities that challenge so that they feel confidently capable for life and learning!

For more information on behaviour, parenting and child development: justask@childlife.ca
We provide personal, private training through our Childlife Strategies that Work! Consultation & Coaching.
Call today for a complimentary phone session — you will be glad you did!

Looking for a FUN & INFORMATIVE Speaker for your next Meeting?
We offer a variety of workshop topics for parents and professionals. justask@childlife.ca and we’ll send you our latest training flyer.
Book before September 30, for your fall/winter events and SAVE! We take care of the HST!

Happy Days!

Mary

By Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE

“All the Flowers of Tomorrow are in the Seeds of Today” — Old Indian Proverb

Building a good sense of self-esteem is more than just saying, “Good boy.” “Well done.” “You are the very best at everything.”

If we really want children to develop a strong sense of self-esteem, we have to start by creating an environment that is rich with opportunities that germinate trust and positive relationships; sow independence and success.

These are the foundations that help build self-esteem.

4 Fundamental Elements in Cultivating Self Esteem

Germinate trust by excavating positive relationships:

• Let children know that you believe in them and think they are worthwhile and unique. Value what they have to say or share with you. Support all their efforts even if they are in error. Correct their ways in the most gentle and positive ways possible. “I see you are spending a lot of time at the sand table. It looks like you are really enjoying the sand. Try to remember to keep the sand in the sandbox.”
• Spread sensitivity throughout the day. Be aware of each child’s feelings when embarrassing things happen. Be casual and matter-of-fact when a child wets his pants or spills her milk.
• Sprout a sense of humour and help a child feel good about himself. Sow some fun and laughter into each and every day. When children can enjoy being entertained and entertaining, they are on their way to developing a good sense of humour and self-esteem.
• Plant the idea that it is OK for children to have and to express their feelings. Help them to deal with their feelings by allowing them appropriate outlets for their sometimes strong feelings. Reinforce their feelings and what they can do about it. “Charlie hit you on the head. That hurts. You can tell him ‘I don’t like that. Touch me gently.’” This helps build trust and good relations, and promotes emotional literacy.

A genuine, positive self-image is a life-long developmental process that starts as early as birth. By spending time tilling the soil and planting seeds of value, you will reap the rewards of a harvest crop…children with self-esteem!

Stay tuned for Part II of How to Cultivate Self-Esteem.

by Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. — Polish proverb

What happened to having a Happy Day and having FUN?

Recently at the Citywide Training, I was assisting Early Childhood Professionals in setting some professional goals for themselves. I was so delighted and inspired to hear them.

One in particular struck me as so important and necessary:

“The only goal I have is to have more fun in the classroom!” Right on!

We all need to be around excited, happy, passionate people. Our children are yearning for it, they are asking: “Where is the fun in life and learning?”

Again, during a Childlife Strategies phone consultation, a mom commented that she was going to take more time to just relax and play with her children more. Fantastic!

We have become so “complex” in our society especially with work and technology.

It’s funny, just a few years ago, (ok decades), there was a theory that said with more technology to assist us in our daily tasks, we would have more leisure time. I don’t know about you, but that does not seem to be the trend.

Further, the anxiety, stress, and depression levels of all ages are on the rise.

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association:

• 1 in 5 people have or will have mental illness
• World Health Organization (WHO) says mental illness is the number one leading cause of disability and
• 5 of the 10 leading causes of disability are related to mental illness

Complexity is beginning to rule our lives, and we are seeing more and more children suffer!

“Are we having any fun yet” is truly a philosophical question for today and only you can answer it and do something about it.

Here are 3 Ways to Simplify life and Have more Fun:

1. Prioritize!
   • Family time is Important & Fun is Essential.
   • Put these at the top of the home and school priority list: The only things that get done are the things that have top priority.
2. Make time for Connecting
   • Whether it is in the classroom and at home; Spending just five minutes a day connecting with a child — looking into the eyes of a child, giving them your full uninterrupted attention is worth more than anything else in the whole world! Imagine one hour of uninterrupted time with each of your children a day/a week! You will never regret tuning into your child and enjoying their wonderful sense of discovery. Make the time!
3. Schedule Fun!
   • In the classroom, plan for open-ended fun activities. Years ago when I worked front-line, Fridays were always a fun day. It drove one colleague nuts, but it was worth it! We had dance parties after nap time; we had fun Friday dress up days; Backward day – dress backwards, start the end of the day at the beginning, try dessert before the main course!
   • Bring your favourite teddy bear to school. The fun ideas are endless.
   • At Home – let it become a no work/cellphone zone. Try Family Fridays – make it a “sacred” ritual – no excuses, no interruptions and for the most part, you have control over that.
   • Pjs, pizza, games, and sleeping on the floor together with the dog and cat and bird.are priceless memories that last forever!

Things we really care about take time and commitment.

When we stop the complexity of life and actually choose to have fun then life takes on a different form.

We have to work at it, make sacrifices and pay the price.

In my way of thinking, saying “YES!” to simplicity and having more fun in our life with children is worth the effort.

Imagine the possibilities.. I would love to hear from you about how you are having more fun and then share the ideas. Drop me a line anytime; justask@childlife.ca

Have Fun having a Happy Summer!

Mary

by Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE

Our article ‘Children are Irrational’ provided us with great feedback!

It is very difficult to convey in a short eNews article the full breadth of care and compassion we have for the most important role in our lives – “guiding children’s behaviour.”

The overwhelming majority wrote to say:

“Thank you! Great article – really enjoy these and pass them on to parents and our ECEs!

A very small minority commented, “I am concerned you are sending the wrong message that children are incompetent.”

We are so glad many of you took the time to let us know how these eNews are speaking to you.

We acknowledge that sometimes the message is lost in translation and the title can be misleading!

We want to be clear that we believe “Children are messages we deliver to a future we will never see!”

How we view our role as guider and developer of young children’s minds, bodies and spirits will determine the future they will have and the person they will become.

Our role as parent and teacher is so influential that if we are truly tuned into them and who they are, then they will become who they are meant to be: capable, confident, competent & resilient!

How do we create the home, school, mental, emotional environments?

We can begin by viewing what it means to BE a parent/teacher – the role, responsibility and magnitude of the position.

We can start by reviewing

1. Our concepts of what “discipline” means – to correct and punish? Or, to model, teach, coach and support?
2. What kind of home/school environment you want to create – conflict & quick fixes OR compassionate, consistent, communicative?

The parent-child relationship is THE most powerful influence on child behaviour and development! The second most powerful influence on a child’s behaviour is the teacher-child relationship!

When we view a child as a child first and their behaviour and actions as skills they are still learning, we then can and will respond with love, compassion and guidance that assist them in becoming who they were meant to be….

Blessings on your day.

Mary Stuart

Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H, RECE,
Director,
Childlife…Solutions 4Life with Kids!
www.childlife.ca,
justask@childlife.ca
905.420.0799
We’re here to help make sense when kids don’t!

For more information on child development, behaviour & parenting: justask@childlife.ca

Looking for a Speaker for your next Meeting?

We offer informative, fun, and practical workshops for parents and professionals. Justask@childlife.ca and we’ll send you our latest training flyer.

Child, Family & Couples Consultation & Coaching:

We offer personalized guidance in parenting, child development and behaviour. The first phone session is COMPLIMENTARY! justask@childlife.ca or 905.420.0799

OPTIMUM CHILD DEVELOPMENT & SPECIAL NEEDS SERVICES

• On-Track Developmental Screening & Enhancement
• Standardized Tools
• Early Action for Delays/Risks/Behaviour Issues
• Optimizing Strategies
• Referrals

justask@childlife.ca or 905.420.0799

Have a Question?

We like to help! No question or situation is too big or too small!
justask@childlife.ca or 905.420.0799

Forward This eNews:

If you found the information in this newsletter to be of value to you, please feel free to forward it to your friends and colleagues;
you’ll be empowering confident, competent parent and teachers everywhere!

By Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE

We believe knowledge is power –- so much so we offer a COMPLIMENTARY 30 minute Parent Phone Consultation: justask@childlife.ca 905.420.0799

At Childlife … Solutions 4Life with Kids, we know that the parent-child relationship is THE most powerful influence on child behaviour and development.

Putting the theory into practice isn’t always so easy especially when we are all stretched to the max!

Having solid information on child development and behaviour makes all the difference in whether or not your parenting strategies are working.

To do the best possible job, you need the best possible tips, tools and strategies for your unique child and situation.

Once armed with solid information, that is based on research and not the latest fad, you can begin to improve your parent-child communications, enhance your relationships and have a happier, more harmonious family!

If your parent-child relationship isn’t all that you want it to be – Try our Child+Life Phone Consultation Service – Free! justask@childlife.ca

We help you understand your child’s behaviour and development so you can implement strategies that work!

We are not psychologists or psychiatrists. We are early childhood developmental specialists who understand kid’s development and behaviour!

We are here to help make sense when kids don’t!

Happy Parenting!

Mary

Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE
Director
Childlife…Solutions4life with kids!
www.childlife.ca justask@childlife.ca

By Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE

At Childlife, we are passionate about children’s behaviour and development! We love working with teachers and parents to understand the puzzling ways of children’s behaviour.

Some days it can be as easy as 3 piece puzzle and other days it is like a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle – not knowing where to start and if it will ever end in success!

When armed with knowledge and understanding of child behaviour and development, finding the right solution to change behaviour without all the drama is the beginning to BEST behaviour and happier days.

6 Suggestions to BEST Behaviour

1. Re-review what it means to BE a parent/teacher – the role, responsibility and magnitude of the position. Our role essentially is to guide and develop young children’s minds, bodies, and spirits.
2. Reflect on what “discipline” means to you. Is it only correct and punish? Or is it about teaching a child what is appropriate, or not appropriate. Is it “do as I say” or do you see it as being a teacher, coach, guide and supporter?
3. Be aware of your words, actions and attitudes towards children’s behaviour. How do you view their behaviour? “They are doing it just to bug me.” Or, “He is still learning to use his words to express is anger.” Your interpretation of their behaviour will influence your strategy and effectiveness or ineffectiveness. It will also make relationship connections or disconnections.
4. Have realistic expectations for the ages and stages of children and yourself!
5. Spend more time together hanging out and having fun and less time trying to be right!
6. Spend more time affirming who they are, what they like to do.

These are just a few things that can help you be a more confident, competent parent and teacher.

If you want to improve your effectiveness at behaviour guidance, take advantage of our FREE 30 minute phone consultation and discover what others are saying: “This is great! It’s a new paradigm shift for me! It helped me not to be so negative about my child and his behaviour! Thanks so much!”

We also offer workshops for parents and teachers. Visit us at www.childlife.ca and let us know how we can help you solve the behaviour puzzle more successfully!

Happy Days!

Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE
Director
Childlife…Solutions 4Life with Kids!
www.childlife.ca
justask@childlife.ca
905.420.0799

“We make sense when kids don’t…”

Article is copyrighted by Mary Stuart. Permission is given to copy for newsletters if full credit is given: Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE, Director, Childlife, justask@childlife.ca, justask@childlife.ca.

Want To Give A Child An Early Advantage?

Create a Happy Day Morning!

Giving a child an early advantage to learning begins when we, as parents and teachers, help a child start every day off with peace, confidence and clarity.

Children like to know what is expected of them and enjoy simple, established boundaries and routines.

These are the keys to setting the stage for early learning and academic success!

5 Easy Ways to an Early Advantage & a Happy Day Morning:

1. PREPARE as much as possible
   Establish easy morning routines the night before!
   Parents: pack your child’s bag and set out clothes and shoes the night before, have easy breakfasts ready to go on the table for when you wake up
   Teachers: set up your classrooms for the next day before you leave: Straighten up your room, set up activity tables and areas; look over your circle and theme plans; pull together what you need for the next day so when you arrive you will be 15-30 minutes ahead of schedule!
2. BATH/Shower the night before and add 15-30 minutes to your day!
3. EARLY START: Get up 5-20 minutes earlier & be less flustered and more focused on the task at hand: getting a child ready for learning!
4. REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Children will cry! It is ok and NORMAL. Say good-bye, don’t linger; they will be just fine and leave. If you are confident about leaving they will be too!
   Teachers: Simple, Short & Interactive action circles for the first few weeks will set the stage for later learning!
5. START YOUR DAY with a Hug, Kiss and a Kind Word!
   Build this into your morning and you will reap the rewards!
   Teachers instead of asking, “How are you?” TELL them you are so excited to see them and can’t wait to start your day with them!
   If your morning routine is too hectic to start a child’s day with a “Happy Day” greeting or feeling then see tips 1-5!

Help give a child an EARLY ADVANTAGE with a Happy Day Morning!

Enjoy Your Days & Have Fun!

Mary

Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE
Director,
Childlife.ca
Your Early Advantage Specialists

Book a Workshop & Beat the HST

Book your fall/winter parent or staff development workshop by August 31st and SAVE! justask@childlife.ca

For more ideas, tips and solutions on child behaviour and development check out our eNews Articles at www.childlife.ca.

Special Rates for PCPC Members!

www.childlife.ca
justask@childlife.ca
905.420.0799

Article is copyrighted by Mary Stuart. Permission is given to copy for newsletters if full credit is given: Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE, Director, Childlife, justask@childlife.ca, justask@childlife.ca.

Confidence or more confidence is what most parents and teachers desire when asked about guiding children’s behaviour.

There is a plethora of information on the market with “new” theories, techniques, and “nanny” type shows which seem to focus on a “quick-fix”, or a special “technique” solution.

Children and their behaviour require more than a quick tip or fix!

Knowledge and Understanding of children’s development and behaviour gives parents and teachers CONFIDENCE!
When you understand why children do the things they do, you have the knowledge to find the right solution to correct and change behaviour without all the drama!

Knowledge helps you:

1. Gain the necessary insight into the child’s perspective
2. Maintain control over your emotions, thoughts and actions
3. Become successful as a child guider, supportive disciplinarian and ultimate developer of a child’s optimum potential!

When children make sense, we feel more empowered to guide them to what is it we want them to do in a more calm, confident, competent way.

5 Tips To Help You Build Your Confidence.

1. Next time a child is driving you crazy ask, “What is he/she communicating through this behaviour? What is the problem? Who owns the problem?”
2. Take a deep breath so you will put oxygen in your brain in order for you to maintain your composure and to think before you speak.
3. Ask yourself, “What do I want this child to do. What do I want to happen? What do I need to teach?” Then do it!
4. Review the results: “How did this work? How can I improve? What do I need to do the next time to make it more successful?”
5. TIME TOGETHER! This is more valuable psychologically, physiologically, developmentally and spiritually than almost anything else!
   Challenging behaviours decrease when you spend more time together having fun!

In just 5 more minutes a day with a child, immediate results begin with a preschooler, school ager, tween and teen!

Take the time to BE Together – your child will thank you. It doesn’t matter what “it” is. Dance, sing, read, play…

Now when you need to set the boundaries and be the parent/teacher, you can with confidence knowing you know your child inside and out.

These are just a few things that can help you be a more confident, competent parent and teacher!

Happy New Year!

Mary

Mary Stuart, E.C.E.D.H., RECE
childlife.ca…Solutions 4 Life with kids!

Looking for a Speaker for your next Meeting?

If you are interested in having me speak at your centre, association, special group, parent night, or staff development day, please contact me about my various programs, topics and fees.

Hire a Personal Consultant:

We provide personal training in child development, behaviour and parenting. We offer on-site, in-home and phone consultations tailored to your unique needs and situations. Please send an inquiry email to: justask@childlife.ca

Have a Question?

We like to help! No question or situation is too big or too small!
E: justask@childlife.ca or P: 905.420.0799

Forward This eNews:

If you found the information in this newsletter to be of value to you, please feel free to forward it to your friends and colleagues; you’ll be empowering confident, competent parent and teachers everywhere!

TIME WELL-SPENT

I don’t know about you, but I find this new “WOW” Factor mentality is causing me to worry a lot more about getting the ‘PERFECT PRESENT’ for all those on my Christmas list when all I really want is a chance to spend some time with them…

It has been said. “The most powerful gift you can give a child is your PRESENCE – not Presents!

Some of my most memorable times I had with my parents and siblings – ones we still talk about – were ones where we did things together.

Today, “Time” is a commodity. However, we do have the power and influence on how we choose to spend it. We can run around shopping for the “perfect” gift that will be forgotten in a day or we can choose to spend more time with our children and choose to be present in the moment – enjoying the fun and time with family…

Make this Christmas and Holiday Season memorable!

5 TIME-WELL-SPENT IDEAS:

1. Dig out some old pictures of when you were little and let the stories begin…
   Children love to hear what it was like when you were little: all the things you did; what were your favourite things to do; and what “Grandma or Grandpa” used to do and be like…
2. Make “home-made” gifts and decorations – I love all the ones I still have…
3. Enjoy a book – as a family and individually with your child. Start a new tradition by reading an old favourite snuggled up on the couch with some hot chocolate…
4. Bake a favourite recipe together and don’t forget to let them lick the spoon & bowl!
5. Get bundled up just after dark and go for a walk or car ride to enjoy the lights in the neighbourhood = FREE ENTERTAINMENT

Enjoy your time-together…

Wishing you JOY + PEACE

Mary

GET MOTIVATED!

«Fantastic!» «Fun» Useful» «Practical» and Really uplifting!»
PCPC’S AGM heard dynamic speaker Mary Stuart present Motivation and Passion in Life with Kids!

Mark January 19, 2010 on your calendars.

TELECONFERENCE: GET MOTIVATED!
With Mary Stuart

FREE!! TO ALL PCPC MEMBERS!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW!
For this unique and exciting presentation!

More information to follow!

Optimum Child Development

Did you know?

• Toddlers & Preschools are LEARNING TO THINK by saying “NO!”
• It is NORMAL for children aged 12 months – 3 years to:
• Grab, pull, kick, bite and scream
• Run away from you
• Do the opposite of what you really want them to do
• Reject you and go to others
• Do the thing you asked them NOT to do
• Be disagreeable and refuse your request

What can you do?

• Remember it’s normal. You can’t prevent a child (or anyone) from becoming negative
• Talk a deep breath – your brain needs oxygen to think
• Ask yourself what you want the child to do
• Teach, guide, support, coach, redirect, remind, and practice what is appropriate – just like learning to walk…
• Teach, guide, support, coach, redirect, remind, and practice what is appropriate – just like learning to talk…

If there is a Real Problem?

Seek insight and perspective about what is “normal” child development and behaviour from an Early Childhood Professional or your paediatrician

Try our TeleTalk Tuesdays

Discuss via the phone:

• How to turn Power Struggles to Peaceful Solutions
• Lions, Tigers and Bears Oh My! Understanding the “Wild” Things & how to Prevent them!
• CHILL THE WHINE
• Tame the Temper & More!

Sign up for dates, times, and more info: www.childlife.ca

Successful Classrooms, Successful Boards, Successful Families don’t just happen!

It takes combined energy, talent, desire, vision and determination. Things you really care about take time, commitment, thought, planning and prioritizing. You have to work at it, make sacrifices. You have to want it and pay the price.

We can create environments when we are intentional and purposeful. As parents, teachers and board members we are powerful influencers who impact and inspire children’s healthy growth and development!

Those who don’t create the future they want must endure the future they get…

Let us reclaim childhood. Let us be the change agents! Let us be the leaders of the next generation!

Children Learn What they Live!

Children have taught me to strive for excellence – in my self, in what I do with and for them. As I strive for excellence in myself then I am able to inspire the best in children, my colleagues and the parents I work with.

Striving for excellence is not the same as striving for perfectionism!

Striving for perfectionism is unobtainable, de-motivating and de-moralizing. It is not something we should be aiming for within ourselves or our children.

Striving for excellence on the other hand is actually very motivating. It is discovering who I am and what I can do and who I am meant to be. As we move in this stream of thinking and doing, we naturally begin to teach this to the children in our care. Your excellence is different from mine, but if we are both striving towards it, we will make the world of early childhood one of wonder and awe….

Children learn what they live…what are you teaching them?

3 KINDS OF TEACHERS/PARENTS/BOARDS

1. Make things Happen
2. Let Things Happen
3. Ask what happened

According to a 2001 Gallop Poll, less than 30% of American workers are fully engaged at work. Some 55% are not engaged and another 19% are actively disengaged!

Striving for quality and excellence in early childhood requires leadership — parents, teachers and board members — who are enthusiastic about creating stimulating environments where children will learn and grow and become who they were meant to become.

What are you going to do differently this year to keep up the joy of childhood and passion for learning in your classrooms and homes?

Children are messages we deliver to a future we will never see…

What message are you delivering?