Mary Stuart, Director, ChildLife.ca
One thousand days to learn; ten thousand days to refine. — Japanese Proverb
TEMPER: the tendency of someone to become angry; a state of being angry
TAME: to bring under control
Remember to Breathe!!
As we spoke about last time, self-regulation is a life skill. It is the ability to identify, control, adapt, alter, and manage our behaviours.
It is an attention-training method that teaches the brain to register anything happening in the present moment with full focus — without reacting.
In other words, “Everything is neutral. It is our response that makes all the difference. “
Strong emotions can be very “scary” to a young child: the sense of being out of control, the sensation of the heart rate going up, the blood flow increase, the energy coursing around.
It can result in screaming, crying = tantrum-ing. Realizing how complex and important it is to support children’s self regulation skills is the key to temper taming!
The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. — Thomas Morell
Temper Taming Tips
- THEY ARE STILL LEARNING
- Viewing a child’s emotional outburst (tantrums) as a skill a child is still learning will help shape our guidance strategies to ones that are more effective and have long term benefits.
- CONNECT EMOTIONS TO BEHAVIOUR
- “Wow, you are so frustrated that you can’t put that puzzle together. Let’s take a deep breath and try again.”
- Validating, reflecting and putting a label to a child’s feelings helps build the necessary feelings vocabulary and teaches how to get back to calm.
- MODEL, TEACH, COACH, SUPPORT
- Just by intentionally talking about a variety of emotions we experience on a daily basis and consciously modelling how we get our strong emotions under control (back to calm) is a very powerful teaching tool.
- TAKE DEEP BREATHS and encourage your child to do the same.
- Oxygen in the brain helps you think so you can respond versus react.
- Breathe in: Let’s smell the flowers. Breathe out: Let’s blow up the balloons…
One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade. — Chinese proverb
B.E.S.T. Behaviour & Temper Tamer/Self Regulation Workshops are available on-site at your centre!
We provide customized training on this topic and other child behaviour and development topics. Justask@childlife.ca and we’ll send you our latest training flyer.
We shall never know all the good a simple smile can do. —Mother Teresa
Happy Days with Kids!
Mary